It’s been a while since I posted something on my blog. I guess I was waiting for this moment when I can write about how I finally became a full time musician who can afford to pay his own bills and make rent (LOL). It took me more than a year to finally be able to earn a living out of music. And this time I am not bragging about it, because this time it’s more of a responsibility than an achievement. When you’re employed, your salary is x ± 0.05x. But as an independent musician, my salary is x ± x. The real challenge is to sustain this living, and it begins now.
During the past one year, I tried everything that even remotely relates to music. Academic schools wouldn’t hire me as a music teacher because I don’t have a degree or diploma in music. Music institutes wouldn’t hire me as I didn’t have any prior experience, and my teaching style is Indian, not western. The radio and TV industry wouldn’t hire me as I had no experience. Turns out, there was absolutely no ‘job’ in the music industry that I could fit into because I had no experience in any area. I was blank. I didn’t know where to start. After six months, all my savings from my previous job were gone and I couldn’t afford another meal. It was the worst time of my life. People said I should go back to my parents’ place and see what I can do with my life. It was a tempting option. So one night, I finally decided to give up and go to my parents’ the next morning. It was my last night here. With a depressed and broken soul, I went to bed.
The next morning, while packing, I got a call from a content development firm, who offered me a full-time job for 20 thousand a month. It wasn’t something that I wanted to do much, but it sounded better than giving up. So I stayed back and started all over again. I worked in double shifts – morning to evening in office, and evening to late night with music. And six months from that day, here I am, conducting corporate sessions in music and doing some live shows.
“Kisi chiz ko sachche dil se chaho to saari kaynaat use tumse milaane me lag jaati hai…” – A famous dialogue and the very philosophy I used to base my big decisions on, turned out to be a blunder. As long as I was following a conventional career path and ‘the rules’, everyone around me was happy and supportive of everything. The day I stood up for myself and my wishes, the universe seemed to have decided to stand against me. I started chasing my dream of becoming a music producer, and on my way I became a terrible son, an irresponsible boyfriend, an absconding employee, and a selfish person overall. I guess the philosophy that worked out for me is: “There comes a moment when you’re so sure you want something, that you can fight the entire universe to have it. It’s that moment that gives meaning to your life.”
Today, my parents still want me to pick up a job and give up this dream, my previous company (bank) has begun court proceedings against me for breaking their service agreement, and I don’t know how much money I am going to make this month. But I can say with unabashed pride that I am one of those few people on earth who can honestly say they love their work. And trust me; this satisfaction is worth all the trouble to get to it.
I’m not saying that I’ve made it in life. God knows I haven’t. But having gone through the year that I did, I can safely say that I know a thing or two about tough times. When you’ve spent 24 years doing something you know you weren’t meant for, starting anew is very very hard, and it doesn’t get easier after you begin. But if you are courageous enough to begin, you can damn well be sure that you’ll be brave enough to see it through.
Following is a weird experimental cover I made few months back. I’d do what I want with my life, just like I did what I wanted to, with this track.